Talking to Kids About Mental Health

Discussing mental health with children is more important than ever. With increasing awareness and resources, parents can equip their kids with the tools they need to understand and express their emotions effectively. Jenna Bernstein, MSW, LCSW-C, assistant director of social work at Sheppard Pratt, emphasizes that open conversations about emotions and mental health are crucial in helping children express how they are feeling. 

Understanding mental health conversations 

Talking about mental health may seem daunting–but it’s just as vital as discussing physical health. Initiating these conversations helps children articulate their feelings, fostering an environment where emotions are normalized and validated. It’s important for children to understand that experiencing various emotions is normal and talking about them is beneficial. When parents engage in these discussions, they set the stage for children to express themselves without fear of judgment or misunderstanding. By starting these talks early, you empower your children to seek support–which leads to an ability to express emotions openly and stronger parent-child relationships.  

How to start the conversation 

Begin by creating a safe environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts. One way to start the conversation is by asking open-ended questions. These inquiries invite your child to express their feelings without fear of judgment. For  example, ask: 

• How was your day? 
• What was the best thing that happened at school today?  
• What was the hardest thing that  happened at school today?  

Choose moments when your child is relaxed, such as during a walk or while doing an activity together. This helps take the pressure off them and allows the conversation to flow naturally.  

Modeling 

Children learn a lot from observing how adults manage emotions. Demonstrating healthy ways to express emotions and open communication about feelings involves acknowledging them. “We get angry at times as parents, so just taking a deep breath  and  saying, ‘Wow, I just got really angry. I  think the deep breath really helped me calm down. What kind of things help you when you get upset?’” says Bernstein. Talking about that feeling and showing coping strategies, like taking deep breaths, teaches kids that it’s okay to feel upset.  

Creating a Safe Space 

Encouraging open dialogue without offering immediate solutions can be beneficial. When a child talks about a  problem, such as being bullied, resist the urge to fix it in the moment. Instead, use active listening and ask how you can support them. Bernstein suggests following your child’s lead and asking questions like, “‘What do you think the next step should be? Is there a way I can help?’ Just explore that, because sometimes, they might not know what to do and might be asking. Sometimes they just want to vent, and that’s okay,  too.” 

Use activities to facilitate  dialogue 

Direct eye contact may make some children uncomfortable. Using activities like drawing, walking, or playing a video game can help your child feel more comfortable by giving them something else to focus on.  

Use Media as Tools 

Movies like Disney Pixar’s “Inside Out” offer a unique way to discuss emotions. They help children visualize and  articulate feelings that might be hard to express for their age. “You could use Inside Out because they can visualize, ‘Oh, that’s what fear looks like. That’s what anger looks like. That’s what sadness looks like.’ So, they  could just point it out or think, ‘I’m feeling like the character Sadness from Inside Out right now,’” says Bernstein. Watching similar films together can provide shared language and relatable scenarios, making it easier for your child to talk about their  feelings. 

Every child is unique and conversations about mental health may not always go as planned. “Some children may not be able to talk about it, but they can draw, journal, or build a LEGO about it,” Bernstein explains. Be patient with yourself and your child. Children might resist opening up due to fear or discomfort. In such cases, continue to show support and reassurance. Over time, your child will learn that  it’s safe to share their thoughts with you. 

Next Steps and When to Seek  Professional Help 

Talking to kids about mental health is an ongoing process. By starting early and using relatable tools like movies and modeling healthy emotional expression, parents can create an environment where children feel safe talking about their feelings. Recognizing when these discussions should lead to professional intervention is just as important.  

If your child shows signs of any of the  following, it’s time to seek professional help: 

• Increased guilt 
• Self-blame 
• Anxiety 
• Mood or behavior changes 
• Loss of interest in activities 
• Suicidal thoughts 
• Self-harm 
• Aggression 

Resources like Sheppard Pratt’s Psychiatric Urgent Care and Care Navigation team offer guidance and support, helping you find the right services for your child.